Hey Angel. It’s been 1 year and 4 days. Has it been only a year? To be honest, it seems like yesterday, because I remember it so well. And yet, I also feel like I haven’t seen you in a long, long time. I haven’t posted that much in between, so I only had to scroll back a few posts to remember my exact thoughts last year – nothing much has changed, I’ll tell you that. I still miss you, and love you, and I’m still struggling with the same old things.
Guess what, I just came back from an awesome trip to UK and Europe and I bought lots of collar pins to add to my collection! Because of that, I set up a brand new collar pin notice board, and the one you gave me – the one with the Powerpuff Girls – that went right in the center :) I think you’d like it if you saw it!
Anyway, it has been a year. Sometimes I wonder what it is in us that makes us care so much for people who don’t really care too much about us. Shouldn’t logic dictate otherwise? I still haven’t quite figured that out. What has changed, though, is how I pray for myself now. Yes, sometimes in moments of sadness I still pray “Oh pleeeeeeeasssse let him like me!”, or some cheesy line like that, but now there is something different I try to pray for. I pray that I will remember the one true and everlasting relationship that God has lovingly given me (with Him), and that even if I never be in a relationship or get married in this life, I will be part of an eternal marriage between God and his people that is perfect, and lasts forever. So even as I wait for what may or may not happen, help me to prepare myself for this forever relationship now.
I don’t think it’s the easiest thing to say or do, because let’s be honest, who doesn’t want a hand to hold, or someone to bring them out, or listen, or love them. But that’s why I pray it, I guess!
So Angel, sometimes I really think that I can’t wait to see you again, because when I do, everything will be perfect. Til’ then, I miss you Beef!